Excerpt:
When Amber came to, she was lying on the couch. Not tied up, not naked, not dead. All good signs. She opened one eye a tiny crack. The crazy genie man was sitting in her recliner, feet up, reading the newspaper. She closed the eye. Now what?
“I know you’re awake,” he said. The newspaper rattled.
Amber cracked her eye open again and watched his triceps ripple as he turned a page. Yowsah. Too bad the best-looking guy she’d met in, well, forever, happened to be an insane home invader. At least he hadn’t put her through the wood chipper. Yet.
“You’re faaaakinng,” the man singsonged softly.
Okay, that was creepy. And obnoxious. Amber rubbed the back of her neck, which was still tingling. “What was that?” she asked. “Taser? Vulcan death grip?”
“I told you,” he said. “I have magic powers.”
Sure you do, buddy. She started to sit up and a wave of dizziness passed over her. She lay back down.
He lowered the newspaper and gazed at her. “Can I get you something?” he asked politely. “A glass of water?”
“I think I need a beer,” she said.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“I don’t have anything stronger.”
He righted the recliner and went into the kitchen. Amber sat up—carefully—and gauged the distance to the patio door. Could she make it?
Too late. The man returned with two bottles, already open. He handed one to her, and then sat back down in the recliner, looking much more comfy than he had any right to. He took a swig of beer and made a face. “You must buy the cheapest beer in the universe.”
Ungrateful lout. “If you wanted expensive beer, you should have broken into somebody else’s house.”
“I didn’t break in, o gracious one,” he said. “You summoned me.”
Book Description:
A nice, normal, boring life—that’s all Amber Polaski ever wanted. One where she’s not unchaining her flaky New Age mom from endangered trees, bailing her out of jail, or getting dragged to naked pagan rituals. But when Amber finds a sexy genie in her antique brass samovar, any hope of normal goes up in smoke.
It’s just one tiny little wish—to find her long-lost father. What could go wrong?
Plenty. Dad shows up, all right—with a computer drive full of stolen data and angry mobsters hot on his trail. Now Amber has Fugitive Dad holed up in her Manville, NJ duplex, fending off the Mafia on one side and the FBI on the other. And she has Jasper the genie lounging in her blue plush recliner, conjuring chocolate chip cookies and passing himself off as her boyfriend. While Jasper is trying to tempt Amber with more disastrous wishes—and his seriously hot thousand-year-old body—Amber and her mom are forced to fight off Mafia assassins with nothing but chutzpah and household appliances.
It’s time for Amber to call in the B-team: Iggy the homeless dwarf, Tim the ecoterrorist, and Wanda the Fairy Dogmother with her pack of Happy Puppies. Together, they need to save Dad before the Mob makes him disappear again—permanently!
Links:
My web site: www.laurensweet.com
Author Bio:
Lauren Sweet was born and raised in New Jersey, spending her formative years sneaking books under her desk to read during math class. After working in business administration for way too many years, she finally escaped to Alaska and earned a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from the University of Alaska Anchorage. Lauren now lives near Portland, OR, and is a freelance writer and editor. Her other esoteric skills include astrology, figure skating, and the ability to do a perfect split.
No comments:
Post a Comment